I'm so sorry for the things i couldn't be. You're a gift from God and I lost you at the worst moment of my life. Whatever I did afterwards to distract myself from thinking about how I've wasted such a gem of a person like you didn't help me at all. I have no rights to be upset over this, but I am. I wish I had the courage to confront all the things I left hanging. All the problems, relationships, work... At times, avoiding seems like the best answer. I can't bring myself to say anything, it's not like I have nothing to say, it's just I don't want the feelings to consume me.

    It's pretty depressing that the only thing I do to make you feel better is to avoid you. Avoid feeling anything about you, avoid looking at you, avoid touching you. Even after this is all over, I will never fully move on, something like you only happens once in a lifetime, I'll never find another you.

    I'll look for you in everyone I see, I hope to see the little pieces of you in the people I meet. Be it the littlest things like the way they chuckle, the way they speak, the way their eyes wander around the room. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I'd never survive life without you. I'd never look at life the same way again. You made life worth living.